


Oasis

by sweetoctopodes



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Confessions, Couch Cuddles, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-22
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-09-01 11:17:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8622499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetoctopodes/pseuds/sweetoctopodes
Summary: After the events of Brotherhood, Mustang and Hawkeye leave the hospital together. Only, neither of them really want to leave the other. Why is it that emotional vulnerability is harder than fighting evil?





	

**Author's Note:**

> Listen I hate how much I ship these two please blame my girlfriend for enabling this. I'm on another FMA/Royai spiral. Enjoy these two emo nerds

It rains as the two of them walk home.

Hawkeye had insisted on escorting Colonel Mustang back to his house, in spite of his insistence that he can walk home alone from the hospital.

“I can see now, Lieutenant. I don’t need you to babysit me,” he deadpans to her while they’re still in the hospital.

Without batting an eyelash, Hawkeye quickly responds, “Sir, babysitting you is practically my job description. You have aspirations of becoming Fuhrer of this country, aspirations that are no longer quiet. I’m not leaving my post.”

Mustang wouldn’t admit it at the time, but it was the most relieving thing he’d heard all day.

He holds the umbrella over both of their heads, but he can tell Hawkeye subtly moves out of the way so he gets the most of the protection from the rain. It’s the little things she does that he notices the most. They’re the sorts of things most people wouldn’t notice; but Colonel Mustang is trained to notice everything. (There’s so much about her to notice.) 

“How are your injuries faring, Lieutenant?” he asks, glancing back at her briefly.

“Well enough that I should be able to take off the bandages soon. Well enough that the doctors thought I would do just fine at home, sir.”

Mustang sighs in relief, barely noticeable, although he knows his Lieutenant will pick up on it. She knows him practically better than he knows himself. “I’m glad to hear that.”

There’s a soft beat as they finally get to his door. 

“I’m glad you’re feeling better, Colonel. If there’s nothing else you need, I’ll be on my way,” says Hawkeye.

“Don’t go, please.” He can’t look at her when he says it. His gloved hands grip the doorknob almost too tightly.

“Excuse me, sir?” Her words are formal, but there’s gravity beneath them. “Is that an order?” The two of them had been the closest companions for years. Technically as her superior, he could order her to stay and keep watch. She could disobey his orders, as she had before if his orders were stupid, but somehow the idea of him ordering her to stay didn’t feel like the right kind of order to obey or disobey.

He opens the door slightly, still refusing to look at her. “No. It’s not an order. I won’t force you to stay with me, Hawkeye. I just...I need to know you’re safe, too.” 

Hawkeye steps back a bit, not out of fear but out of surprise. She knows the Colonel. Neither of them do particularly well with emotional vulnerability. The last time she had comforted him when he was grieving over Hughes, she stood there in silence with him. But this time it’s her, the idea of losing her, that he’s grieving and she has no idea how to comfort him. 

“Your apartment looks cozy, Colonel Mustang. Mind if I step inside for some tea?” 

He smiles at her softly, finally looking at her for the first time since he asked her to stay. She sees his eyes damp with tears that still refuse to fall, the relief on his face as he opens the door and lets her in.

They’re both silent as they walk in. Mustang goes to put some tea on, and Hawkeye settles in, taking her coat off. She briefly uses the telephone to call Sergeant Fuery to check on her dog. “I’m going to be up late with work, and I’m not sure when I’ll be home. Make sure he’s okay.”

It’s not long after she hangs up the phone that Mustang appears with a cup of tea for her, just how she likes it. They’ve spent enough time together that they know exactly how the other prefers their tea or coffee. They sit down across from each other, silently sipping the hot, calming drink.

“Colonel, what’s on your mind?”

He sighs, setting his teacup down. Mustang rubs his temples gently. Damn her for being so in tune to his emotions. Although to be fair, he knows her emotions just as well. He hears the concern in her voice, the worry and care she has for him. If only it weren’t so damn hard to say the things he wants to say.

“May I?” he gestures to her cheek and neck. 

Hawkeye pauses for a moment before nodding silently. 

Mustang takes off his gloves and gently touches her cheek, down to her neck where she had been cut. “I’m sorry.”

Hawkeye just barely leans into the touch. “Colonel, there’s no need to apologize,” she begins.

He doesn’t let her finish his sentence. “Please, Hawkeye. Please don’t call me Colonel. Not tonight.”

“Sir.”

“Don’t call me sir.”

The air is thick between them, full of apologizes and words unsaid, feelings unspoken. 

Hawkeye gently lifts his hand off her cheek. She traces the outline of the flame alchemy symbol he had carved on his hand. The scar is faint, but it will likely last. “I’m sorry too, Mustang.”

It’s strange for both of them, her calling him by his name, even if it is his last name. (It feels nice.) There’s still a wall between them, a wall of formality, a wall of something. They’re delicately dancing around everything, but as they were in battle they are here -- neither of them wants to be the first to break.

“Hawkeye, I almost watched you die that day,” he says, not looking at her. 

Hawkeye gently lifts his chin to face her. She can see the terror in his eyes. “But you also watched me recover. I watched you regain your sight with Marcoh’s Philosopher’s Stone. We’re okay.”

“Maybe. But Hawkeye, I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost you. I can’t...I don’t know how...I was so angry, so scared.” 

“You ordered me not to die. Do you really think I’d disobey an order that serious?”

He chuckles softly. “You’ve disobeyed me before, Lieutenant.”

Hawkeye leans back. “If I can’t call you Colonel or sir tonight, you can’t call me Lieutenant, either.”

Mustang nods. “That’s fair.” 

Hawkeye realizes shortly after that she’s still holding his hand in hers. She pulls it back slowly. “Do you know how many times I’ve seen you so close to death? When I thought Lust had killed you I couldn’t...I once told you that I’d follow you even into hell. I’d follow you even into death, sir.” She blinks when she realizes that she called him ‘sir’ when he had directly asked her not to. She looks down. “I’m sorry.”

“Riza.”

“I ought to slap you for calling me by my first name,” she says, a melancholy lightness in her voice. 

“But you’re not.” 

She shakes her head gently. “No. I’m not.”

Mustang stands and then sits next to her on the couch. His hand reaches out to touch her. He wants to ask if he can hold her close, just feel her safe and sound next to him. “I can’t live without you. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, Riza.”

Hawkeye leans closer to him. “And I don’t want to live without you. You know that.”

“I do.”

They’re both silent and still for a moment, both aching to reach out to each other and just feel safe.

“Roy.”

It’s a risk, and she knows it. (So does he.) But that small word is what breaks the wall between them. They’re both crying, and neither of them can tell who reaches for whom first. The next thing Hawkeye knows, she’s in his arms, cradled against his chest, crying.

“I thought I’d lost you. Even with both of our skills, I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He keeps whispering apologies into her hair, still damp with the rain. 

“I couldn’t protect you from any of them. Fury, Pride, Lust, Envy...they still hurt you. I’m so sorry, Colonel.”

“I asked you not to call me that.” 

“I’m sorry.”

Mustang runs his hand up and down her back, where he knows the scars of flame alchemy remain, where his own flame burned her at her own request. He pulls her close again, refusing to let go, afraid he might lose her if he stopped holding her. “I’m sorry.”

Hawkeye fists his shirt in her hands, finally letting herself cry for the first time in a very, very long time. For a long while, the two of them just sit there, shedding tears over all of the things they’d been through together. 

“I never wanted to be the reason you hurt. Not then, not now. I thought...I could protect you.”

“God, don’t you ever think about yourself?” asks Hawkeye, adjusting herself so she could look at him.

He runs her hand against the scar on her neck again. “Not if I can help it.” 

She visibly leans into his touch, and his eyes flicker down to her lips. “Can I kiss you, Lieutenant?” He leans in, face close to hers, but far enough away where he could easily back off if she said no.

Hawkeye leans in a little closer. “Sir, that would violate the fraternization policies as outlined in section four...you know as well as I do the rules about relationships between commanding officers and subordinates.”

“Is that a yes or a no, Hawkeye?” deadpans Mustang.

“Damn the rules, Mustang,” she says, letting all defenses drop as they both lean in to kiss the other. 

There’s something of an eager heat between them, not because of years of built up tension, but because they both need to know that the other is safe, that the other is happy and cared for. 

They stop after a while, before either of them cross a line or make a mistake. They know the kiss will change things, that policies will have to be worked around. Neither of them knows if this kiss actually means anything at all, other than a need to see the other safe. There’s discussion to be had and feelings to be discussed, but at that moment neither of them wanted to talk. 

They both fall asleep on the couch, arms and legs all tangled up together, holding each other tightly, finally feeling safe and at peace.

And when Mustang wakes up a few hours later after a nightmare, it’s the sight of Hawkeye in his arms that helps him breathe easier and relax. He’s safe. She’s safe. She slowly wakes up and blinks at him sleepily.

“You okay? You were twitching in your sleep.”

Roy smiles at her and gently brushes a strand of hair behind her ear. “I am now. I’m glad you’re here.” He kisses the top of her head, and they both fall back asleep, refusing to move away from the other.

Several hours later, it’s Hawkeye’s turn to wake from a nightmare. She wakes with tears in her eyes, shaking. Once she’s fully lucid, she tries not to move for fear of waking Mustang up. 

“It’s okay, I’m here,” he whispers, not even opening his eyes. “Are you able to go back to sleep?” It’s an offer to stay up with her if she can’t, and both of them know it. 

“Yeah, I think so.” 

Sure enough, both of them fall right back asleep, still tangled up together. The first rays of dawn peek through the window. They both know things will be new and different tomorrow. They both know that it will provide struggles, difficulties, even arguments over what happens next. 

But they both know that no matter what comes next, they’re going to face it together.

**Author's Note:**

> Pls review I haven't written fic in so long validate me


End file.
